Trick R Treat

The Story: In writer-director Michael Dougherty's fright fest, Halloween's usually boisterous traditions turn deadly, and everyone in a small town tries to survive one night in pure hell ... but who will still be alive in the morning? From Netflix

Um. Yeah, so..


We just need you to watch this. Seriously, if you're going to watch a horror film on Halloween, it should be this one. It's freaky. We loved it.

 

30 Days of Night

Since Halloween is getting closer, I thought I'd post this review again because 30 Days is my all time favorite vampire movie!

  (just don't watch the sequel)

The Story: A small Alaskan town goes dark one month out of every year. With daylight gone, a vampire clan moves in to wreck havoc on the town.

I love horror movies, but I’m also a big chicken.  I’m talking bed full of stuffed animals, room half lit with night lights kind of scaredy cat. I blame most of my chicken-ness on my older sisters allowing me to watch Interview with the Vampire when I was young. It freaked me out, and since then so has every other vampire movie that I have ever watched.  Especially 30 Days of Night.

The Vamps in this movie are louder, scarier, and more violent than any other vamps I’ve ever seen.  Not only do these things just look freaky, but the sound they make when they cry will chill you to the bone. 

Another plus for 30 Days, is that there is a descent story here. Not just vamps running around eating people. Just make sure you're not eating when you watch it.

If you liked: Underworld, Trick R Treat, I am Legend, Daybreakers

Dream House

The Story: Soon after moving into their seemingly idyllic new home, a family learns of a brutal crime committed against former residents of the dwelling. from imdb.com


A and I hit up the double feature last night because we're just that cool. We caught the eight o'clock showing of The Thing - my selection - and it did not disappoint. But we ended up unknowingly saving the best for last.

Dream House is an uplifting horror movie. Yeah, you read that right. I haven't seen one this good in years. Supernatural horror is not my cup of tea, but movies like this one are the reason I always end up giving in. When done right, there's nothing like it.

For some reason this one hasn't been doing too well at the box office. My guess, it's because of a lack of advertising. If your local theatre is still playing Dream House, go see it now. If not, save it to the queue. You won't be disappointed.

The Uninvited

The Story: After several months in a mental institution, Anna still cannot remember what happened the night her mother died. Her therapist sends her home, hoping that the past is behind her, but home is not the same. Her mother's nurse is now her stepmother to be, and this new mommy dearest has a past of her own.

Neither Liz nor I have ever been into the supernatural thriller sub-genre of horror movies. You know, the ones about ghosts and demons and freaky little kids. I mean, a demon possessed girl who's stuck in a well simply cannot crawl out of your TV. She's STUCK IN A WELL!!! When the ghost/monster is too outrageous to be believable, we just don't buy it. Horror movies need to be based in reality for them to truly scare us.


That's why we both hesitated to watch The Uninvited. It seemed to fall into that supernatural horror category. We watched it anyway. We were running out of decent horror movies to recommend to customers at the Buster, and we both like Elizabeth Banks. Anyway, I'm glad we watched it because The Uninvited is one of the best scary movies I've seen in a long time. The freaky-things-jumping-out-at-you parts are subtle but very freaky. The entire movie gives you that whole, bad things are about to happen vibe and just then when the tension builds to the point of exploding...

Oh, I can't tell you, but it's good. The Uninvited is a horror movie with good scary parts and a good story. Who knew they could co-exist so peacefully?

If You Liked: The Others, What Lies Beneath, The Ring, A Perfect Getaway

Untraceable

The Story: FBI Agent Jennifer Marsh thought she had seen it all, until a tech savvy psycho begins to use the internet as a murder weapon.

So, you've probably already realized this, but I like cop movies. Doesn't matter what's going on, as long as the good guys are fighting the bad guys. And no, not all cop movies are the same. 


This sounds weird, but I love the killer in this movie. This was the first movie I remember with the "internet can kill you" idea, and I think they play this card the best.

Online or not, this bad guy has the most inventive kills. He is just  bat $#*! crazy and creeps me out like no other. I always sleep with a light on after watching this one.

If You Liked: The Watcher, Chaos, Payback, Unthinkable

TGIF

Happy Scary Movie Day!
Just saying Friday the 13th sends a chill down my spine. I'm glad it doesn't come around that often. One thing is for sure, I make sure never to babysit when it does, just to be safe. No matter what your plans for tonight are, at some point you will be perusing the horror section of your local buster.



                                To make your movie selection easier, I have some suggestions for you.

The safe bet is a classic, Poltergeist, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman and The Hills Have Eyes will definitely make you sleep with a light on. I still don't like watching Halloween at night because Michael Myers scares the living daylights out of me. There's just something about his mask that unnerves me. Then you've got Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Scream, Saw (just the first one) and American Psycho that are a bit newer, but still classics in there own right.

Now, if you're looking to take a chance on something new I have two categories for you to choose from. The first being creature features. It's a lists of ghosts, goblins, and all things that go bump in the night.


Creature Features                                      
 The Uninvited, The Descent,  The Haunting, 30 Days of Night,      Darkness Falls, Devil, Paranormal Activity 2 , Cursed, Anaconda,          Cloverfield, The Relic,  The Breed (2006), The Ring, The Lost Boys, Jaws, Snakes on a Plane, The Faculty.


                              
My second category is bad guys. There's only one thing that truly terrifies me, a psychotic killer. The horrible things that people will do to one another is what gives me nightmares. Now, I've broken this category down into 2 sections. First is Carnage Candy, these are the movies that you should not eat while you watch. Second is Super Scary Thrillers, these movies will spook you, but not make you wanna puke.

 Carnage CandyThe Collector          
Pathology                
Vacancy
The Hitcher  (2007)      
Last House on the Left (2009)
Identity
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Wrong Turn                                                                                       Sorority Row
                                                                                    The Highwaymen
                                                                                    Open House
                                                                                    Seven
                                                                                    The Killing Room

 ThrillersRed Eye
P2
Prom Night
Primal Fear
The Watcher
A Perfect Getaway
When a Stranger Calls
Urban Legend
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Joy Ride
Cry Wolf
When Strangers Appear
The Vanishing
Funny Games


And if you're too chicken to watch anything on my lists, try Monster House!

   

The Forsaken

Every time I walk past this movie at the buster I say I'm going to rent it. Now I can't. Some jerk stole it last week. 

Fortunately for me, we just got a new tv channel dedicated to all things horror (love this!) They played TF over the weekend. I had the DVR ready because I have loved Kerr Smith ever since Dawson's Creek (hey, I'm a Williamson fan!)

It took me a second to get into the movie, but I ended up really liking it. 

TF is your average vampire flick minus the ultra-complicated vamp mythology. It's about an average guy who runs into a group of vampires on a road trip and gets involved in their crazy vampire war. 

Another plus is that it doesn't go over the top with the gore. You can actually eat and watch this one. I wouldn't recommend that with something like Daybreakers.

On a final note, I have found my new favorite evil vampire. Johnathon Schaech's portrayal of Kit, the baddie, was both terrifying and intriguing.

If you  Liked: 
DayBreakers, The Lost Boys, Joy Ride

When Small Things Attack

This week I decided that Fridays would be a good day to go off topic. Today, instead of recommending a totally wicked movie for you to watch over the weekend, I would like to discuss another subject. I call it ‘When Small Things Attack.’
 

On Wednesday my boss and I were discussing movies, as we sometimes do. At one point the movie Dolls was brought up and my boss was like, "why would anyone be afraid of a doll? They’re so little. You can just kick them away." To which I responded, "dolls are beyond freaky. They are the scariest of the scary. Don’t mess with a doll, man."

The conversation made me think of other movies I saw as a kid with miniature monsters. I guess they were big in the 80’s. Today, I would like to share some thoughts on these films. And if you like cheesy, ridiculous horror movies like many of us do, by all means, watch them.

Warning: Images below may be disturbing for some readers.

Gremlins (1884)

A boy inadvertently breaks 3 important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town. IMDB

I love this movie. If you've never seen it then I feel sorry for you.

Is it scary? The bad gremlins are freaky, but they never really frightened me, even when I was a kid. The reason: Gizmo. How could anything truly evil come from something so cute and fluffy?

 

So why am I bringing this up? I don't know. It's about small creatures attaching people. It fits.

Dolls (1887)

A group of people stop by a mansion during a storm and discover two magical toy makers, and their haunted collection of dolls. IMDB

I have no recollection of ever seeing this movie. My other sister, not Allie, swears that I did. I disagreed, so she started telling me about it in order to convince me. Half way though her summary a small voice in the back of my mind said please, God, make her stop!

The only conclusion that I can make from this is that the idea of dolls being evil was so terrifying to me that I blocked it from my memory.

The Gate (1987)

Three young children accidentally release a horde of nasty, pint-sized demons from a hole in a suburban backyard. What follows is a classic battle between good and evil as the three kids struggle to overcome a nightmarish hell that is literally taking over the Earth. IMDB

I’m pretty sure this was one of the first horror movies I ever saw, and it's stuck with me over the years. I think about those little pink demons from time to time. (You should know that the picture above shows them gripping the pegs of a staircase banister. That’s now tiny they are.)

But for the longest time I couldn’t remember the name of this movie. I did remember the basic plot, the hole in the back yard, the tiny creatures. I brought it up on a number of occasions, to see if anyone else had seen it. I'd say something like, "you know that movie with the little naked demons and the staircase and the hole in the backyard?" People always thought I was making it up. After a while, I started to think maybe they were right.

Then, this past summer, A’s boss at the Buster told me the name and I was like yes! The Gate. That’s it. I immediately put it in my Netflix queue. As I watched it climb higher and higher on the list, a tiny ball of fear and despair began growing in my belly. It made me start to remember more scenes from the movie. Then I realized, THEY were getting closer and closer.  They even entered my dreams.

They made it all the way to position 5 before they got the axe. No way am I ever watching this movie again.

Child’s Play (1988)

A chubby toy doll named Chucky becomes an instrument of terror in director Tom Holland's unnerving tale of horror. Before cops gun down a serial killer, he invokes a spell that transfers his soul into the body of Chucky -- who ends up as a birthday present for 6-year-old Andy Barclay. When a rash of murders ensures, he knows Chucky is the culprit but neither Andy's mother nor the police believe him. Netflix

When I was eight years old I had a truly great Christmas. I got a mountain of Legos, the new Batmobile and the female My Buddy doll. Not long after that I went though a ‘I want to be a beautician phase,’ which was my way of saying that I liked to play with scissors. Everyone in the closet with hair got a trim, including My Buddy. Unfortunately, my skills with a pair of blades were abysmal. My Buddy’s hair got shorter and shorter as I tried to fix my mistakes. When I was done, she looked like the blonde version of Chucky. 

I didn’t notice the similarity. Other sister did. She hated Chucky. He was the only thing she ever feared. Finally, I had something over her. She had age and size and strength, but I had Chucky. (Other sister if you’re reading this you should know… I still do. <insert evil laugh>)

Leprechaun (1988)

When Dan O'Grady returns home after stealing an Irish leprechaun's pot of gold, he thinks he can settle down and enjoy his newfound wealth. He thought wrong. The leprechaun followed him. O'Grady barely gets away with his life, having locked the monster in his basement. Ten years later, J.D. and his spoiled daughter Tory move in. By accident, the leprechaun is released and immediately starts to look for his gold. IMDB

When I was in elementary school, my dad was on the state board of public accountants. Every summer, we’d spend a week in San Destin, Florida for a yearly CPA conference. San Destin, Florida is the birthplace of all my childhood phobias.

The last summer we spent there, my mom and I went on a three-hour deep-sea fishing trip. (Never go on a 3-hour boating tour. Ever! They are jinxed.) The sea was in a major twist that day with swells bigger than our boat. I was ten. I weighted about 75 pounds. I spent the entire trip holding onto the railings for dear life. The 500-pound cooler on the desk was being pushed around like a tin cup, so as you can imagine, I had a difficult time staying on-board. It took eight years before I was ready to get on another boat.

The summer before that, I got stuck in an elevator by myself for the longest twenty minutes of life. I still prefer taking the stairs.

The summer before that, however, was by far the worst. My parents dropped me and my two sisters off in a conference room to be babysat by college students so they could take the night off. One of the young adults handling our care decided it would be a good idea to let us watch Leprechaun.

At that time in my life I had a friend named Arthur. Arthur and I loved scary movies. Jason and Freddie were daily fixtures for us. We could watch Halloween without even flinching, but something about that little green devil freaked me out. I spent the entire night rolled up in a ball crying for my parents.

I have never been a fan of St. Patrick’s Day. Now I know why. Thank you Jennifer Aniston.

In conclusion, monsters are scary. Tiny monsters are horrifying.

For those of you who are still not convinced that little things are frightening, I leave you with the following animated short. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Alma from Rodrigo Blaas on Vimeo.

The Descent

I think I'm falling in love with this movie.

It wasn't immediate. I mean, there was an initial attraction, but it took a little while for it to sink in and take hold.

The more I think about it. The more I realize. I love this movie.

It's about six friends who go cave diving, get trapped, and then realize that they aren't down there alone. That's a very short description, I know. If you need more, check out the trailer at IMDB.

I'm currently debating over whether or not to tell you why it took me so long to watch TD (I used to live in a scary neighborhood where horror movies were not allowed) or provide a laundry list of reasons why I love it (1. British people), but I think I'll get right to the point. It's a really good story.

Yes. That's it. And it's enough because we all know that horror/thriller movies don't always come with good stories. But The Descent is one of those really simple and yet clever movies that takes setting, character and plot that fit together perfectly under a single unifying theme. I love it when that happens.

You may watch the preview and be all like, ew freaky devil people and blood. Gross. No thank you.

To you I say, No. It's not all about the carnage. It's about building up to the carnage. Then it becomes all about the carnage. See how that's different.

So for those of you who are like me and opt for scary over romantic comedy on February 14th, check this one out, because you can only watch Valentine so many times before David Boreanaz's hotness becomes a mute point.