Round 1: Lori Grimes vs. Dr. Sara Tancredi (Sarah Wayne Callies)
In the first corner we have Lori Grimes, wife of Deputy Rick Grimes, in AMC’s The Walking Dead. Lori is no wuss. She did survive a Zombie apocalypse, but she didn’t do it alone. So far, Lori seems to be the voice of reason and morality for the men in her life. We’ve yet to see her kick substantial but.
In the opposing corner, meet Dr. Sara Tancredi of Fox’s hit series Prison Break. Sara is a recovering morphine addict with a soft spot for good-looking cons. She can take a beating and, if you absolutely force her hand, she will shoot you and then feel really bad about it.
I can’t actually imagine a scenario that would put these two characters at odds with each other, but I’m sure it would involve protecting a man. Although Lori seems capable of doing anything for survival, Sara has actual combat experience. Still, Sara is a bit emotional, the idea of hurting some poor mother would be too much for her to bear, and I’m pretty sure Lori could stomach punching her in the face.
The outcome: Truce
Both characters are too prone to choosing reason over violence. After a minute of circling each other with very serious expressions, they’d most likely come up with a rational solution to their disagreement. They might even end up as friends. Sigh.
Round 2: 13 vs. Alex Kelly (Oliva Wilde)
I know what you’re thinking. Who the bleep is Alex Kelly!? You might remember her from season two of The O.C. You might not, if you were lucky enough not to get sucked into The O.C., and if so, I’m jealous. Here’s what you need to know about Alex Kelly: she’s a badass, bisexual bartender.
13 should sound a little more familiar. She’s the badass, bisexual doctor from House, also known as Dr. Remy Hadley. (That’s the character’s actual name for all of you who missed that one episode where they used it.)
Warning, this fight is going to get pretty nasty. Both characters are sure to pull some dirty punches.
The outcome: Hard to tell.
Not because they’re too evenly matched. It’s just too hard to tell them apart.
Round 3: Elle Bishop vs. Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell)
Elle, the emotionally unstable brat with the power to generate electricity, you may remember from NBC’s Heroes. This half-pint vixen might not look like much, but her power was strong enough to knock super villain Sylar on his you-know-what.
Elle’s going up against one of my all time favorite TV characters, Veronica Mars, private eye. Veronica is a snarky teen with mad Nancy Drew skills. She’s taken down rapists, murderers, and computer geeks. Her power, the ability to sniff out a scandal and bring the evil-doers to justice. Street justice that is, Mars style.
Elle vs. Veronica is almost good enough to be our main event. Not because it brings in elements of the supernatural. No, this fight would be awesome because of Kristen Bell’s god-given talent for delivering the perfect zinger. Oh the sarcasm would be epic.
The outcome: Veronica wins.
She may not be a Hero, but Veronica Mars always gets her man.
Round 4: River Tam vs. Cameron Phillips (Summer Glau)
If you're picking your prize fighter, chances are Summer Glau won't be anywhere on your list of possibilities. And for good reason, she probably doesn't even weigh in the triple digits. But bony arms aside, Summer Glau has played some of the baddest chicks ever to grace the small screen.
Exhibit A: River Tam of Firefly. In the beginning of the series River is a delicate super genius, but true fans know better than to get on her bad side. In Serenity, the Firefly movie, we see her singlehandedly destroy an entire alien army.
If that's not good enough for you, how about Cameron Phillips from the short-lived series Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles. Cameron is a terminator, the new and improved kind. She could snap your neck in a second.
So, who wins in a battle between a super-genius, super-soldier created in a space lab and a killer robot from the future?
The outcome: Cameron wins.
She's a robot from the future, people. Robots always win.
To Be Continued...
